Mental Shift

One of the things that an extended period of unemployment can do is rob you of confidence. Every job application that goes out into the void with no reply, every interview that produces no result, makes you wonder that much more if maybe you're not worth what you thought you were, if maybe all of these people who've decided you're not the man for the job are seeing something about you that you're not seeing about yourself. Combine that with a broken marriage, in which your wife has also decided that it's not worth having you around any longer, and you've got a recipe for surrender. It's hopeless. Just stop trying. Nobody wants you, and no one will ever want you. It's depressing.

Finding work helps. A lot. If nothing else, it gives you something else to do with your time. Something else to think about. And as you master whatever task it is you're given, no matter how minor, it brings back a little of the confidence you had lost.

Last year at this time, I was still unemployed. I'd had several job interviews, but nothing had worked out. This year, I have sent just as many applications, but have not had even a single interview. However, the big difference is, I am working, and that has produced a big shift in my attitude. It's just day labor, unskilled work at minimum wage, but it's keeping the electricity turned on, and that's better than the alternative right now.

And it gives me hope that maybe I can get things turned around, get myself a permanent gig someplace that will actually make use of my skills, start catching up on the debts that have fallen behind. Hope is about the most valuable thing I can hang onto right now.